As many people know, money can be a touchy subject for many, and is a topic that is avoided as long as possible. There comes a point in a relationship, however, when money needs to be discussed. This can happen when deciding if you and your significant other would like to move in together, purchase a car to share, or even go on a vacation. By talking about money, you can both understand what you can afford, and what is out of your price range. Here are a few tips when having “the talk,” while keeping the peace.
An important component of any serious conversation is finding the right time. It is best to talk about money when you are at a nonstressful time in the month. It is best to talk about money after bills are paid. Find a time that works for both of you, sit down, and begin your conversation is a calm setting.
You may have found in past relationships that money was an issue. Many times this is due to keeping debt a secret. Don’t be ashamed of your debt. Share your thoughts and feelings about money, debt, and important expenses that you have. By being open and honest, you will encourage your partner to do the same. This is the key to starting a productive conversation about finances.
In every relationship, there is one person that will make more money than the other, even if it is not by much. Discuss the elephant in the room. Discuss what this means to one another. If you are the higher paid person in the relationship, your partner may be overspending. It is important to share your feelings with them in a non-hostile, honest way. If you are the lower-paid person in the relationship, share your feelings as well. Explain how this makes you feel. Being honest is the key to a healthy relationship, but keep in mind the other’s feelings while speaking your peace.
If you have tried to talk about finances together in the past and it did not go as planned, seek out a counselor. Because this is a difficult topic, it is normal to have some different views and disagreements. If you feel that it is causing a serious problem in the relationship, try couples counseling to have a third party make sure the conversation stays peaceful.
If both you and your partner are in over your head in debt, this may be a reason you are putting off the conversation. You can bring up the option of taking out a payday loan to get you both off to a clean start. This can help you pay some of the debt in advance, and maybe even lower your monthly payments.